Alicia “Allie” Herne is a mother of five and works as a full-spectrum doula—a trained professional who provides birthing and postpartum care—in Akwesasne and surrounding areas. In recent years, she has also expanded her services to support women and their partners as a Sexual Health Doula. Is your curiosity titillated? Read on!
Allie, everyone is dying to know: What is a Sexual Health Doula?
I help women understand everything that surrounds their sexuality. I help change the perspective on what it is to be sexual, with themselves and their partner.
How did you get into this line of work?
I started this journey 11 years ago when I joined Pure Romance [a direct sales company that sells relationship enhancement and intimacy products]. At first, it was a novelty but I noticed that for some people, talking about pleasure wasn’t a joke. It was a vulnerability. Over time, my clients started telling me that I helped them overcome traumas they endured as young women. They told me “Oh my God, you make this so fun, so normal.” They were survivors who had completely shut off their bodies to themselves and their partners. That’s when I got really serious and took the initiative to learn about human sexuality.
Who comes to you for help?
Women from all age and all walks of life come to me with questions. I’ll get moms who want me to have conversations with their teens about normalizing body changes to pre-menopausal women who want to know what’s happening to their bodies. I do a lot of parties with groups of women [with Pure Romance} and private one-on-one sessions where we talk over coffee.
What did you learn about sexual health as an adult, as a doula, that you wish you knew growing up?
The longest relationship you’re ever going to have is with yourself. If somebody had told me that it’s my body and I have the last word, I think I would’ve been stronger and more stable in my decisions about how I treated myself. I didn’t value myself growing up. I know that now. What I want to instill in the younger generation is their value. I tell my kids, “You only have one vagina, you only have one penis. What are you going to do with it?” There’s nothing wrong with pleasure, there’s nothing wrong with masturbation. Pleasure is not wrong.
Why is intimacy and body literacy important?
Every body is different. Your sexuality is completely unique. You need to embrace that and feel empowered by it. That’s your root. When that is grounded and solid, everything grows from there. Then when you’re in a relationship with a partner, you’ll feel more confident saying no or addressing what you want and what you like. You’ll feel confident voicing where you feel comfortable and when you don’t.
Why do you want to promote sexual education, healing, pleasure, and empowerment?
When I was younger, I wasn’t taught proper sexual health education. Honestly, I don’t even think I was taught anything about my body. Unfortunately, many of us learn a lot from friends, media, or from porn. It’s not practical. I want to be able to give back to women, for them to feel happy, comfortable, and sexy in their own skin. It’s our health. We deserve it.
As we near Valentine’s Day, what would you like to tell couples (or singles for that matter) about intimacy?
I love Valentine’s Day even though I think we should adore ourselves and each other every single day. In my opinion, the best tool when it comes to intimacy is not our genitals. It’s our tongue because we use it to communicate! When we say “I love myself” and when we tell our partners “I love you”, it radiates out and comes back to us. It’s our peace.
If you’d like to access Alicia’s services, you reach her via email HERE.
