“PERCEPTION”
By Jo-Anne Barton, 1st Place, Non-Fiction
She always looked so pulled together, so on top of her game. She had great long, thick, blonde hair and perfect makeup. She looked as polished as a television celebrity. I’ll call her Kim.
She was local, living in a small town close to my village. I first encountered her as a reporter, writing on a variety of topics, mostly about how to be positive in life and why. She appeared to be in her mid to late thirties.
She was a pretty good writer and I looked forward to reading her column. I casually followed her career and before long she was specializing in workplace advice, particularly for office workers, and it was obvious that she really knew her way around a corporate office. Her promo pics became a little more glamorous with her long blonde hair, curled to perfection and immaculate make-up with (I assume) false eye lashes.
She fell off my radar for a few years and then one day I noticed her on LinkedIn. She’d become a speaker and author of self-help books.
Now I admired and even envied her. She was travelling throughout North America and writing books, giving speeches on how to be the ultimate professional.
That was a big accomplishment and it doesn’t happen without a lot of energy and determination. I knew she must have taken special courses on public speaking, on stage presence as well as on the topics she spoke about. She won awards for her public speaking and accolades.
Being a public speaker had been a secret dream of mine since childhood. People always told me I was a good speaker. I won several debating society awards in middle school and was sure that as an adult I would earn my living as a writer and/or speaker. Life led me in different directions, though, and those dreams took a back seat to my drinking, drugging and general partying throughout my twenties.
I was clean and sober, happily married and well employed as a professional sales executive by the time I encountered Kim. None of this happened by accident, of course. Getting clean and sober took courage, getting married took more as I come from a long line of divorced parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc. And my successful career came through many years of long hours and hard work. Fortunately, I never quite lost the gift of being good at talking.
A glamourous life on tour wasn’t in the cards for me, but I lived the dream vicariously following Kim’s career. I silently cheered her on, knowing that she had that drive to put her dreams into action. In total, she written a book and I was curious to see what she’d do for an encore.
I thought occasionally of writing her a fan letter, telling her how much I admired her, perhaps even daring to suggest we meet if she ever came back to her small hometown to visit friends and family. Of course, I never actually wrote the letter – but in my day dreams I did, and we became friends, kindred souls.
I did eventually pick up writing as a hobby, but with no illusions of supporting myself through my writings. To satisfy my public speaking dreams I’ve stuck my toe in a local amateur theatre group, and have been ecstatic with the creative energy that comes from interacting with people who write, who act or play music, who dare to step on a stage and perform. I wondered at how much support Kim must have received to pour all that energy into making her dreams come true.
Then, last week, while I perused the obituaries, I saw her name. My first thought was this can’t be my Kim, even though the small town was the same one she came from. I’m a curious (some say nosy) person though, so I clicked on the obituary to be sure. The picture accompanying the text showed a nice enough looking woman, smiling, with long white hair and no or little makeup.
She was the same age as me. At first, I thought, wow, what a coincidence that two women in the same small town had the same name. Then, I studied the picture again and knew it was “my” Kim who had chosen to end her life. I was devastated. She was, I thought, living my dream. Apparently, I was wrong. I really wish I’d written that letter.
We never really know what lies in the heart of another, what gives them great joy, what breaks their heart. I do know, though, that what matters in life is how you perceive yourself – not how others perceive you. Perception is critically important in a sales career. To be successful in sales, you have to play a role, you have to dress the part, act the part, drive a nice car and be able to make engaging small talk. All this on top of knowing your product, your market, etc.
We all have visions of our dream life. Fame and fortune may not be on every person’s wish list, but they were on mine. The fortune bit still is – but maybe the fame part can come from being remembered by my friends and family as a loving, supportive person who was cheerful and even uplifting. The fame of media headlines and adoring fans are not real. Even though the adoration may be sincere, it is at best fleeting. From now on, if I envy the seemingly charmed life of another person, I will remember Kim, and I will remember this late learned lesson, that perception just isn’t necessarily reality.
Epilogue: Although written, entered and awarded in good faith, the story is now known to be mis-attributed and does not intentionally refer to any specific persons.
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