The Unexpected Padre

Barbara Helms has lived a full life. She completed two master’s degrees, converted to Islam, raised kids, launched a school, worked with the Cornwall Interfaith Partnership and mounted a private counselling practice. And that was all before 2017. Last year, Barbara Helms, a 52-year-old Cornwall resident, added three new and notable lines to her LinkedIn profile: Muslim Chaplain for the Ottawa Muslim Association; candidate for the Doctor of Ministry, Muslim Chaplaincy program at the University of Toronto; and most notably, (female) Muslim Chaplain for the Canadian Armed Forces, serving with the 30th Field Artillery Regiment, 33 Canadian Brigade Group, 4th Canadian Division. All three roles were firsts in Canada.

In her own words, Barbara shares how she has pieced together this remarkably layered and laudable life.

STARTING OUT

“I was born in Regina, Saskatchewan in the early 1960s. My parents were both American and both classical musicians. They taught music. We moved back to the US when I was quite young. First, we went to Georgia, then Pennsylvania and then Alabama and finally settled in Princeton, New Jersey. I did all of my schooling, kindergarten through high school, in Princeton.

I went to Hamilton College which was a pretty preppy liberal arts college in New York State. Their claim to fame was that they had rejected Brooke Shields from admission. She went to Princeton instead. I had a love-hate relationship with academics. On one hand, I really liked the intellectual work. I found that exciting. I liked to think and reflect and learn. I still do. But you know, the idea was that you learned how to argue and make footnotes in arguments. I questioned how that was leading to truth. I was on an existential quest but wasn’t really getting the answers I wanted. I stayed at Hamilton for a year and then decided to make a new plan.

Up until that point, being born in Canada was an exotic detail. But I thought “OK, why don’t I look at the universities in Canada?” I got to McGill University in 1982 and started studying comparative religion. I thought I was going to become an Anglican minister. For me it wasn’t so much a religious calling. It was more like a career selection. I liked the idea of doing something that involved spirituality and had a connection with social service. Plus, I liked the church music. [chuckle]

My role as a chaplain is a culmination of my life’s work, experience and personal journey. I have a responsibility in a developing field but more importantly, I am called to respect people who I have been called to serve. This keeps me grounded.

SHIFTING THE FOCUS

I finished my degree but by then had lost focus of entering the Anglican ministry. This took me on a wider search. I had already met and married my husband and that’s when I found Islam. [It was 1987.] This discovery came as a surprise to me. It answered a spiritual calling. For me, the basic theological perspective of Islam corresponds to good human sense and common sense. There’s a room for your own thinking and discernment. There’s room for guidance. There’s room for integrity and for compassion.

I think you can find truth and balance any place you look. I respect my colleagues of other religions. They certainly can make a good argument for their choices. But at the time, Islam is what connected to me and what I connected to. It was an informed choice.

REALITY CHECK

I went back to graduate school to do a master’s in Islamic studies and was doing the coursework for a doctorate. But I was trying to balance many realities—being a student, a devout Muslim and also a mother. At that point, I was raising five children—one stepson and four biological children.

We moved to Cornwall in 1993, and for the first year we lived here, I was still commuting to Montreal. I would get on the train with my breastfeeding infant, take my doctorate courses and take the train back. That didn’t last long for obvious reasons. That’s when I got started homeschooling my children. But then, people in the community starting asked me to tutor their kids. There was a bit of an education gap, particularly for Muslim girls. The demand for all-girls schooling grew, so in 2001, we founded the Dar-ul-Ihsan Muslim School. We opened it on September 10, 2001. Then everything changed. We closed for a few days because of the horrific tragedy on 9/11. There was an immediate shift in the perceptions of Muslim people and also in our experience of being Muslim. That has informed how I have grown over time. I feel that I have to be present and show a willingness to cooperate toward a common good. If people don’t like me and close the conversation because I am a Muslim, well that’s too bad. They don’t know me.

MOVING ON

Running the school was a really cool learning experience for me because it was small enough [less than 15 students at any one time] that I could be involved in all the tasks. But I realized that all we had was vision and enthusiasm. We didn’t have the structural support. I went for about two years without getting paid before saying, ‘This isn’t working’.

I knew I had to retrain in something that didn’t require me to relocate to a larger city. I found a Master’s in Counselling Psychology at Athabasca University. I had to go to Calgary for a number of face-to-face trainings but was able to do most of my courses online. I did my placement at St. Lawrence College here at home. That led me to part-time employment with Integrative Counselling Services and to taking private counselling clients. But I needed more than that.

So, I applied to the Canadian Armed Forces as a chaplain. The process took about two years to get through because, let’s be honest, when it came to my case, everything was some kind of exception. Obviously I’m not ordained nor do I have a master’s in theology or pastoral care training. But when you put together all my work and my studies, there is an equivalency there. I sure didn’t make it easy on them! It’s really hard to find somebody who can check off all the required boxes for the role of Muslim chaplain. Chaplaincy is new in the Muslim community, even though there are many who have been fulfilling the role without holding the title.

In the work I do, there is lots of drudgery. Sometimes it’s not so interesting. But there’s always a chance for real connection and transformational change. And that’s what makes this work so appealing.

WHAT IT MEANS

For me, a chaplain is someone who has grounding in a religious tradition that has also been hired by an institution. So, a chaplain is usually found in the context of a prison, hospital, university, or in my case, the military.

The focus of my job is not on educating people towards the tenets of any particular faith. It’s meeting

them where they are. There are only two Muslim soldiers in my unit. So it’s unlikely I will be called to do anything specifically Islamic like read verses or perform any kind of ceremony though that certainly is a possibility. I am there to give anyone who is in distress—Muslim or not—space for human conversation.

Basically, I have a job to do. Because of the headscarf, yes, I am visibly different. But in so many other ways, I am not different. I think that cooperating towards a common purpose and dealing with each other as decent human beings and showing respect and care—that’s what’s important.

THE BIGGER PICTURE

Being a chaplain for the Canadian Armed Forces is completely new territory for everyone and was born out of my 30-year life journey. It’s likely that I will have a very short time in the military because I may be forced to retire within four or five years. The Armed Forces may give me another term but let’s just say my time is limited.

The point is, we’re breaking ground and trying to find a path that needs to exist for the future. The military has stated in public documents that they are aiming for greater diversity in all roles, including 25 percent of positions filled by women. I’m in a unique position to be able to help create and define these kinds of roles. I think that’s kind of cool.

NEXT STEPS

I’m grateful for the things I’ve been able to achieve so far but my work is not done yet. All my milestones become starting points for the next challenge. I feel that I’ve been presented all sorts of opportunities and there are more to come, I’m sure. I just have to keep going and see where they lead me!